73 Would You Rather Questions For New Parents
Becoming a new parent is a wild, wonderful, and often overwhelming adventure. Amidst the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, a fun way to connect and laugh is with "Would You Rather Questions For New Parents." These questions offer a playful peek into the charming chaos of early parenthood, perfect for sharing with your partner, friends, or even just for a chuckle during a rare quiet moment.
What Are "Would You Rather Questions For New Parents"?
"Would You Rather Questions For New Parents" are playful prompts that present two equally challenging, funny, or thought-provoking scenarios. They’re not meant to be taken too seriously, but rather to spark conversation and shared experiences. Think of them as mini-dilemmas that highlight the unique joys and absurdities of raising a tiny human. They've become incredibly popular because they offer a lighthearted escape and a way to bond over the shared realities of parenthood, often making people laugh out loud.
These questions are used in a variety of ways. They can be a fun game to play at a baby shower, a way for expectant parents to prepare for what's to come, or simply a way for seasoned parents to reminisce and share war stories. Some common formats include:
* A list of questions to go through with your partner.
* A game to play with other new parents to see how your answers compare.
* A way to break the ice and get people talking about their parenting experiences.
The importance of using these questions lies in fostering connection and understanding among new parents. They remind everyone that they're not alone in the struggles and that laughter can be the best medicine. Here are some ways they can be categorized:
Funny and Absurd
Sleep Deprivation Struggles
Parenting Guilt Gauntlets
Baby's Firsts and Fiascos
Would You Rather: The Sleep Deprivation Edition
1. Would you rather have your baby wake up crying every hour, or have them sleep soundly but you have a constant, low-level buzzing noise in your ears?
2. Would you rather have your partner snore like a freight train every night, or have your baby decide 3 AM is the perfect time for a full-on singing concert?
3. Would you rather wake up to a nursery filled with glitter and confetti every morning, or wake up to a baby who has somehow learned to master interpretive dance at dawn?
4. Would you rather only be able to sleep in 15-minute increments for a week, or have your baby develop a sudden fascination with opera singing at 5 AM?
5. Would you rather your baby exclusively eat pureed broccoli for every meal, or have them only sleep when you’re rocking them and singing the alphabet backward?
6. Would you rather have your baby’s cries sound like a broken kazoo, or have them only communicate through dramatic sighs and eye rolls?
7. Would you rather be permanently stuck in a Tuesday morning fog, or have your baby only nap when you’re in the middle of a crucial task?
8. Would you rather wake up covered in baby food every day, or wake up to a house that mysteriously rearranges itself while you slept?
9. Would you rather have your baby communicate solely through interpretive dance, or have them only speak in riddles?
10. Would you rather have to wear a clown nose to all social gatherings for a month, or have your baby decide that your hair is a chew toy?
11. Would you rather have your baby’s first words be a complex philosophical debate, or a catchy jingle for a product that doesn’t exist?
12. Would you rather have your baby learn to teleport but only to the kitchen when they're hungry, or have them develop super-strength but only when they're trying to avoid bedtime?
13. Would you rather your baby be able to read your mind but only when you’re thinking about snacks, or have them have the uncanny ability to predict when you’ve just sat down?
14. Would you rather have your baby's laughter sound like a flock of seagulls, or have their cries sound like a tiny, angry duck?
15. Would you rather have to sing lullabies in a squeaky voice for the rest of your life, or have your baby only sleep when you play heavy metal music?
16. Would you rather wake up to your baby wearing your favorite hat like a tiny gangster, or wake up to them having redecorated the nursery with crayon masterpieces?
17. Would you rather have your baby communicate through elaborate hand gestures, or have them only communicate by mimicking animal sounds?
18. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you're doing jumping jacks, or have them only wake up when you're on an important phone call?
19. Would you rather have your baby's first intentional word be "taxes," or "mortgage"?
20. Would you rather have to smell like baby powder forever, or have your baby smell like freshly baked cookies every single day?
Would You Rather: The Mess and Mayhem Mayhem
1. Would you rather have your baby projectile vomit on your boss, or have them decide to use your expensive sofa as their personal art canvas with permanent markers?
2. Would you rather have your baby consistently poop their pants during every important meeting, or have them learn to blow raspberries so loudly they drown out all conversation?
3. Would you rather have your baby’s playtime involve covering everything in the house with peanut butter, or have them develop a talent for launching anything within reach across the room?
4. Would you rather have your baby master the art of hiding objects, but only your car keys and phone, or have them decide that your houseplants are their personal playground?
5. Would you rather have your baby’s favorite game be “let’s fling food,” or “let’s see how much noise we can make simultaneously”?
6. Would you rather have your baby randomly start crying in public at the decibel level of a siren, or have them exclusively use your clothes as a napkin?
7. Would you rather have your baby learn to walk but only by crawling through every puddle they can find, or have them develop a talent for sticking their fingers into every electrical outlet (safely, of course, with the magic of imagination)?
8. Would you rather have your baby’s diaper blowouts occur exclusively during long car rides, or have them decide that your pristine white carpet is the perfect place to practice their new crawling skills?
9. Would you rather have your baby’s toys mysteriously end up in the dishwasher, or have them master the art of scattering Lego bricks with the precision of a tactical demolition team?
10. Would you rather have your baby's sneezes contain glitter, or have their hiccups sound like a foghorn?
11. Would you rather have your baby decide that the bathtub is their personal water park, complete with soap everywhere, or have them view the entire house as a giant ball pit filled with their toys?
12. Would you rather have your baby's first drawings be exclusively on the walls with permanent markers, or have them develop a habit of wearing all their meals?
13. Would you rather have your baby communicate their needs through interpretive dance, but their interpretation is always wrong, or have them only communicate by making a series of increasingly loud squeaking noises?
14. Would you rather have your baby’s favorite game be “let’s see how many things we can knock over,” or “let’s see how much stuff we can throw”?
15. Would you rather have your baby master the art of finding and eating floor dust bunnies, or have them develop a talent for unraveling toilet paper rolls at warp speed?
16. Would you rather have your baby wake up covered in juice stains every morning, or wake up to find all your socks have mysteriously disappeared?
17. Would you rather have your baby’s playtime involve creating elaborate forts out of all the cushions, or have them decide that the laundry basket is their personal jungle gym?
18. Would you rather have your baby's happy gurgles sound like a car alarm, or have their annoyed grunts sound like a dying vacuum cleaner?
19. Would you rather have your baby decide that your coffee is their personal sippy cup, or have them develop a passion for redecorating the house with food-based art?
20. Would you rather have your baby master the art of camouflage, but only by hiding in plain sight in the messiest corners of the house, or have them develop a talent for finding and “improving” your personal belongings?
Would You Rather: The Parenting Guilt Gauntlets
1. Would you rather accidentally feed your baby something that tastes like chalk for a week, or accidentally have them watch a slightly too-scary cartoon for a minute?
2. Would you rather forget your baby’s favorite stuffed animal at a restaurant and not realize until you’re home, or forget to pack a diaper change on an outing that lasts longer than expected?
3. Would you rather have your baby only fall asleep while you're watching intensely serious documentaries, or have them only eat if you sing them opera at the top of your lungs?
4. Would you rather accidentally scroll through your social media while holding your baby, and have them accidentally "like" a post from your ex, or accidentally text your partner a typo that makes it sound like you’re complaining about the baby?
5. Would you rather have your baby learn to crawl but only in the direction of the nearest electrical socket, or have them master the art of throwing food but only at your face?
6. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you're holding them and humming a tune that’s slightly off-key, or have them only eat if you’re making silly faces?
7. Would you rather have your baby discover your secret stash of chocolate, or have them discover your secret stash of embarrassing childhood photos?
8. Would you rather have your baby cry for an hour because you ran out of their favorite snack, or have them cry for an hour because you accidentally used the “wrong” kind of baby wipe?
9. Would you rather have your baby learn to walk but only by toddling towards the dog’s food bowl, or have them develop a fascination with touching everything on the coffee table?
10. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you’re playing loud, upbeat music, or have them only eat when you’re whispering sweet nothings into their ear?
11. Would you rather accidentally forget to put sunscreen on a tiny patch of your baby’s arm for five minutes, or accidentally let them eat a crumb of something they shouldn’t have before you noticed?
12. Would you rather have your baby only fall asleep when you're pretending to be a dinosaur, or have them only eat when you’re narrating their meal like a nature documentary?
13. Would you rather have your baby learn to clap, but only when you’re trying to have a serious conversation, or have them develop a talent for mimicking your most annoying habits?
14. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you sing them a song about existentialism, or have them only eat when you’re doing a cartwheel?
15. Would you rather accidentally use your phone for a few minutes while holding your baby and have them accidentally send a text to your boss saying "poopoo," or accidentally let them watch a toddler-appropriate commercial for longer than you intended?
16. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you’re telling them elaborate bedtime stories about cheese, or have them only eat when you’re performing a dramatic re-enactment of their day?
17. Would you rather have your baby learn to throw a ball, but only at your head, or have them develop a fascination with unbuttoning your shirts?
18. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you’re dressed as a superhero, or have them only eat when you’re speaking in a different accent?
19. Would you rather accidentally give your baby a slightly too-firm cuddle, or accidentally let them hear a snippet of a dramatic movie trailer?
20. Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you're juggling, or have them only eat when you're doing a silly dance?
Would You Rather: The Baby's Firsts and Fiascos
1. Would you rather your baby’s first word be “mama” but only when they’re hungry, or “dada” but only when they want to play?
2. Would you rather your baby’s first steps be towards a sharp corner, or their first words be an insult to your cooking?
3. Would you rather your baby’s first solid food experience involve pureed peas being flung everywhere, or their first attempt at talking be a string of gibberish that sounds suspiciously like a complaint?
4. Would you rather your baby’s first laugh be a haunting cackle, or their first cry be a high-pitched shriek that makes dogs howl?
5. Would you rather your baby’s first tooth erupt when you’re at a fancy dinner, or their first independent poop be discovered on the living room rug?
6. Would you rather your baby’s first artistic creation be on your car window with a crayon, or their first attempt at walking be a dramatic tumble down the stairs (safely, of course, with imagination)?
7. Would you rather your baby’s first sign of independence be hiding your car keys, or their first attempt at saying your name be a muffled “blah blah blah”?
8. Would you rather your baby’s first time on the potty be a complete success but involve a lot of singing, or their first tantrum happen in the middle of a crowded grocery store?
9. Would you rather your baby’s first word be "taxes," or their first understanding of language be the word "no"?
10. Would you rather your baby’s first toy invention be a device that automatically throws food, or their first attempt at communication be an interpretive dance that signifies hunger?
11. Would you rather your baby’s first pet name for you be “food-giver,” or their first sign of recognition be pointing at your phone?
12. Would you rather your baby’s first artistic masterpiece be on the walls with spaghetti, or their first musical contribution be a series of loud, unmusical bangs?
13. Would you rather your baby’s first fashion statement be wearing mismatched socks intentionally, or their first attempt at mischief be hiding your favorite mug?
14. Would you rather your baby’s first word be a complex scientific term, or their first understanding of humor be laughing at your silly face?
15. Would you rather your baby’s first independent snack be something that stains everything, or their first attempt at helping with chores be making a bigger mess?
16. Would you rather your baby’s first adventure be crawling into the dog’s bed, or their first attempt at a handshake be sticky and messy?
17. Would you rather your baby’s first spoken sentence be a philosophical question, or their first sign of defiance be refusing a perfectly good meal?
18. Would you rather your baby’s first discovery be a hidden treat, or their first attempt at communication be a series of loud, insistent noises?
19. Would you rather your baby’s first attempt at a joke be confusing to everyone, or their first attempt at affection be a slobbery kiss on the eye?
20. Would you rather your baby’s first proud moment be mastering a complex puzzle, or their first “uh oh” moment be a spill of epic proportions?
Would You Rather: The Partner Power Struggles
1. Would you rather your partner always fold the laundry incorrectly, or always forget to put the toilet seat down?
2. Would you rather have your partner sing lullabies off-key at the top of their lungs, or have them constantly offer unsolicited parenting advice that you don’t agree with?
3. Would you rather your partner’s primary contribution to childcare be making ridiculous faces at the baby, or always being the one to find the lost pacifier?
4. Would you rather your partner’s idea of helping with dinner be ordering takeout every night, or their idea of helping with the baby be to just stare at them adoringly?
5. Would you rather your partner always be the one to wake up with the baby but then immediately fall back asleep, or always be the one to change the diaper but then leave the dirty one in a prominent place?
6. Would you rather have your partner insist on naming all the baby’s toys after obscure historical figures, or have them try to teach the baby complex philosophical concepts before they can talk?
7. Would you rather your partner’s bedtime routine involve reading the baby a dense history book, or their morning routine involve a loud, energetic wake-up call at 5 AM?
8. Would you rather your partner’s idea of a date night be watching a documentary about infant sleep patterns, or their idea of a romantic gesture be buying you more baby clothes?
9. Would you rather your partner always be the one to lose the baby’s favorite blanket, or always be the one to misplace the diaper bag?
10. Would you rather your partner’s parenting superpower be the ability to soothe any crying baby with a single glance, or the ability to instantly know when the baby needs a snack?
11. Would you rather your partner’s definition of “cleaning up” involve simply moving toys to a different pile, or their definition of “feeding” involve only offering pureed broccoli?
12. Would you rather your partner’s contribution to baby’s first words be teaching them curse words, or their contribution to baby’s first steps be encouraging them to jump off furniture?
13. Would you rather your partner’s baby shower gift be a lifetime supply of diapers, or a book titled “The Art of Parental Passive Aggression”?
14. Would you rather your partner’s lullaby of choice be death metal, or their pacifier-finding technique be to randomly shake everything in the house?
15. Would you rather your partner’s idea of helping with bath time be to spray everyone with the showerhead, or their idea of helping with playtime be to let the baby “explore” the electrical outlets?
16. Would you rather your partner’s primary role in the household be to document every single baby milestone with a dramatic soundtrack, or to offer expert commentary on the baby’s every gurgle and sigh?
17. Would you rather your partner’s parenting philosophy be “let them cry it out” but applied to everything, or “do it yourself because it’s faster”?
18. Would you rather your partner’s idea of a family outing be a spontaneous trip to a noisy amusement park, or their idea of a quiet evening be a loud game of charades?
19. Would you rather your partner’s contribution to baby’s sleep be reading them the phone book, or their contribution to baby’s feeding be trying to feed them their own food?
20. Would you rather your partner’s biggest parenting challenge be remembering where they put their keys, or their biggest success be a perfectly timed baby fart?
Would You Rather: The Quirky Companionship Chronicles
1. Would you rather have your baby communicate exclusively through interpretive dance, or have them only speak in riddles?
2. Would you rather have your baby develop a talent for predicting the weather with uncanny accuracy, or have them be able to perfectly mimic any animal sound?
3. Would you rather have your baby’s favorite pastime be collecting shiny objects, or have them have an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure historical facts?
4. Would you rather have your baby communicate their emotions through elaborate hand gestures, or have them only communicate by humming a specific tune for each feeling?
5. Would you rather have your baby’s first words be a philosophical debate, or a catchy jingle for a product that doesn’t exist?
6. Would you rather have your baby learn to talk but only in Shakespearean English, or have them learn to sing but only in operatic Italian?
7. Would you rather have your baby be able to predict what you’re thinking but only when it comes to snacks, or have them have the ability to perfectly fold all laundry?
8. Would you rather have your baby’s laughter sound like a flock of seagulls, or their cries sound like a tiny, angry duck?
9. Would you rather have your baby develop a talent for finding lost items, but only items you don’t want to find, or have them be able to play any musical instrument by ear after hearing it once?
10. Would you rather have your baby’s favorite game be “let’s see how much noise we can make,” or “let’s see how many things we can rearrange”?
11. Would you rather have your baby communicate their displeasure by making a series of increasingly loud squeaking noises, or by performing a dramatic eye-roll?
12. Would you rather have your baby be able to read your mind but only when you’re contemplating a nap, or have them have the uncanny ability to find the most comfortable spot in any room?
13. Would you rather have your baby's sneezes contain glitter, or have their hiccups sound like a foghorn?
14. Would you rather have your baby develop a talent for telling elaborate jokes that no one understands, or have them be able to perfectly impersonate any celebrity voice?
15. Would you rather have your baby's favorite hobby be organizing your entire spice rack alphabetically, or have them be able to telekinetically move small objects?
16. Would you rather have your baby communicate their hunger by singing a specific song, or their desire for a diaper change by barking like a dog?
17. Would you rather have your baby be able to instantly solve any math problem, or have them be able to draw incredibly realistic portraits?
18. Would you rather have your baby’s favorite pastime be creating elaborate escape plans from their crib, or have them be able to communicate with animals?
19. Would you rather have your baby’s first words be a compliment about your outfit, or their first attempt at conversation be a critique of your life choices?
20. Would you rather have your baby develop a talent for making the perfect cup of coffee every morning, or have them be able to instantly translate any language?
So there you have it, a whirlwind of “Would You Rather Questions For New Parents” designed to bring a smile, a nod of recognition, and maybe even a shared groan of experience. Parenthood is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes, the best way to navigate it is with a good dose of humor and a willingness to play along.
